The Toddler's Guide to Salesmanship

By Sonia Simone

They wreck our stuff, kill our sleep and chase away our non-parenting friends. But we still love 'em and want to take care of them. I've learned a lot about effective persuasive communication from my three-year-old.

And it only makes sense. Toddlers are too small to do much, and lack their own credit cards, but they need the same food, shelter, love and amusements that anyone else does. All they have are their powers of persuasion.

These suggestions aren't (just) tongue-in-cheek. Try them out in your own communication to make some stronger connections.

Don't be afraid to repeat yourself

Parents of young children are typically broke, frustrated, chronically anxious, time-crunched and sleep-deprived. In this, they strongly resemble customers.

Toddlers know that when you're speaking to a distracted audience, you might have to repeat your message 6 or 7 (or 60 or 70) times to get heard.

Repetition at toddler levels will drive your customers out of their minds. But you can repeat your message a lot more often than you think you can. Just like exhausted parents, your customers are only listening to you with half an ear. Be sure you've made your point enough times for them to get it.

Grown-up tip: Look for varied ways to convey the same message, or you'll run into Are We There Yet Syndrome.

Look for ways to surprise and delight

My boy imperiously demanded some animal crackers the other day. "Animal crackers!"

"Hmm, what could you say that would make me want to give you animal crackers?" I said, in that mom way I have.

"Animal crackers, darling?" he said.

Darling bought him a lot more animal crackers than please would have. Their ability to surprise us and make us laugh is a big part of what keeps toddlers alive on those difficult parenting days.

Grown-up tip: It's not always easy for us to reproduce the sideways logic of a toddler. Start by capturing all your ideas, including (especially) goofy ones. Set aside some time regularly to noodle on communication ideas that are "too silly" or "can't work for me."

When you come up with something both simple and surprising, you may just have a winner.

Use the language of your audience

The other day, my always-entertaining small person looked me in the eye and asked soberly, "Mama, is Papa maybe not a morning person?"

One of the vastly amusing things about toddlers is the way they repeat our phrasing exactly. This gets kind of stressful when we start worrying about the kid getting kicked out of Montessori school for R-rated language. But mostly it's one of the great joys of hanging out with little kids.

Toddlers know that we hear best when we get a message that uses our own words.

Grown-up tip: One of the less-known uses of surveys and testimonials is to find the language of your customers. Look through everything your customers send you for wording you can mirror back to them. Artful, "writerly" language isn't nearly as important as using the words and phrases that your customers do themselves.

Added 6/21: Don't miss Bob Hoffman's brilliant observation in the comments below that "clients are just toddlers with money."

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Flickr Creative Commons image by Kah_Zanon

Comments

[James Hipkin]

You are such a good writer, you amaze me every time I click in to see what you've said. Thank you for that.

A small build on your last point. White mail (unsolicited correspondence) is a great source for both real customer language and advance notice on issues that may be percolating under the surface. Please, please, please (do you like how I used point number one) make it easy for your customers to talk to you. Don't hide the 800# 12 clicks deep on your site and do provide easy-to-find email links on many pages not just the previously mention 12-click-deep Contact Us page. Some variations on this are listen to customer service calls, attend focus groups, do store checks, and go on sales calls.

[Angela Parker]

It's true, children are too much trouble to keep, except for their un"adult"erated appeal!

I love the way you combined the essence of parenting with marketing -- especially the "surprise and delight" point.

That one is supreme.

[cougarmark]

Nice points here.
Thanks for reminding me how cute the little people are - and how smart they are.

Mark

[Sonia Simone]

@James, I could just hug you. Thank you.

I could not agree more about making it easy for customers to talk to you. And online sellers are particularly HORRIBLE about it. Interaction is a great blessing--encourage it!

[Kelly]

Sonia,

As a mother, I am a sucker for posts combining business and the wisdom of little ones. Little people are wise, spontaneous, and artful in their persuasive ways. Seems clear yours is learning well from Mama. A funny post with great points.

"Look through everything your customers send you for wording you can mirror back to them." I know it, but I don't apply it nearly often enough. You said it so brilliantly it's going to be top-of-the-mind for a long, long time. That's my aha! moment for today. Thanks.

Regards,

Kelly

[Mr. Twenty Twenty]

Hi Sonia,

Great article. Become as little children, eager to notice what's new, learn from those around you, and explore what's really going on.

Great post, looking forward to more!

Mr. Twenty Twenty
The ExHostage turned Professional Visionary

http://www.exhostage.com

[Sonia Simone]

Kelly! I am mighty glad to be of service.

Welcome mr. Twenty Twenty!

[bob hoffman]

Talking with toddlers doesn't just help you talk with consumers. If you're in the marketing business, it also helps you talk with clients.

When my daughter was a toddler she put every question through what we called "Twelve Degrees of Why."

"Dad, why do flowers have different colors?"

"Um, to attract insects"

"Why do they want to attract insects?"

"Well, they don't really want to, it's just that those that do tend to have more success reproducing"

"Why?..."

After the twelfth "why" you found out whether you really understood something or not.

It's just like talking to a client. In fact, clients are just toddlers with money.

[Janice C Cartier]

Absolutely Fabulous, darling. :)

Great analogy. Surprise and delight with gleefulness. Kind of challenges us to make everything old, new again.

[Kelly]

Bob,

"Clients are just toddlers with money."

Hahahaha. That's super.

[Sonia Simone]

@Bob, that is the most fantastic thing I have read all week. Thank you.

I'm actually most struck by the resemblance of senior executives to toddlers. The better known and higher up the food chain they are, the more often I find myself wanting to ask, "Do you just need to poop or what?"

[Connie Brooks]

Sonia,

I am learning so much for your site - I can't even tell you. Thank you for the awesome articles. I enjoyed your Three Bears Series too - it gave me a lot to think about.

~Connie

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